2023 has been a crazy year. I have learned and experienced so much. Crazy things. Shadow work. removing invisible obstacles (clearing ancestral karma). Removing negative thought patterns. Revising wrong views and perceptions. dealing with incorrect ways of looking at the world learned from childhood. Patterns that don’t serve me or my fellow beings. Patterns I have to give up to live the life I know I am heading to.
I want to learn the truth. The truth of the mind & consciousness. I want to stay true to my intuition, that deep voice calling from within, that has guided me all my life. The voice that has now led me to the teachings of the Buddha and Lao Tzu. I want to study and practice what these traditions have to say.
I believe these traditions are profound and rich in wisdom on how to live a great life. They hold many answers to the nature of our minds and how they impact our reality and experience. I have learned so much from these traditions already. I have learned to cultivate so many positive states of mind with the teachings and practices. Gratitude, joy, forgiveness, patience, calm, clarity, to name a few. I have reduced so many of the negative emotions, such as worry, fear, and anxiety. I cannot recall the last time I experienced hate or jealousy. It is at least years ago now.
These traditions teach us to become wise, compassionate, and enlightened beings. Not only for our benefit of ourselves but for the benefit of all sentient beings. I cannot think of a more noble goal to have in life than to strive for this.
The Buddha said that there are 84000 paths to enlightenment. I am pretty sure that number isn’t meant to be taken literally. It was a way of saying there are countless ways to become enlightened. The process is different for every one of us. You don't have the same experience as anyone else.
My goal is to walk down that path as carefully as I can. I want to study and practice, so I can live a happy and fulfilling life. I want to do my best to help other sentient beings and I want to help point them in the right direction as well.
Overcoming the fear of judgment
As a kid, I used to want to be left alone, out of the spotlight. I was the kid who didn’t want to be on stage when we had to perform at a theatre. I didn’t want to share my opinion, didn’t want attention. Please leave me alone. I want to look at the sky. I want to watch the clouds with my mind - full of imagination. That was often enough company for me.
All of this is to say, that for me, sharing what I have to say, stepping out in the spotlight, and putting things out on the internet are all things that are not natural to me. I was always mindful enough to see all the traps and pitfalls that could come with it as well. And the traps have only grown bigger as one misstep today can get you canceled or ridiculed.
I now enter 2024 with a lot more inner strength. I know that there are people who will disagree with what I have to say. I know some people won’t believe me. I know some people will make fun of it. “Karma? You believe in fairy tales. Inner alchemy? What nonsense!”. That’s ok.
My Daoist teacher says that attention is a great test for you to see if you have practiced and studied well. How are you going to react when people judge you? When they make fun of you, disagree with you, confront you, cheer for you, or praise you? These things will test your character and conviction. Will your ego run loose? Or will you stay strong, humble, and compassionate? That is what is most important.
I know I live a very different life from many people. Yet, I know I have something to offer other beings. Something that can be of benefit to many people out there. And it is now more important for me to try and reach them and help them. My belief in sharing and helping is more important than my fear of judgment. And now I have the inner strength to do it.
Happy New Year to everyone. May the year of the dragon be full of love, happiness, peace and joy for all sentient beings.
